This is the kind of thing some motivational guru on Instagram screams at you every morning, and once you’re past 40, it’s bollocks.

Your hardest efforts can sometimes make the problem worse, and today I’ll show you how that happens.

Let’s dive in…

The Snake Farm

There’s a famous story from colonial Delhi.

The way it’s told, the government wanted fewer venomous cobras, so it offered a cash reward for every dead snake.

Sounds sensible enough!

Clever locals started breeding cobras at home to keep the cash rolling in.

When officials rumbled the trick, they cancelled the reward completely.

The breeders were left with a load of worthless snakes, so they set them free.

Delhi ended up with more wild cobras than before the policy started!

That’s the Cobra Effect: an attempted solution that makes the problem worse!

The Over-40 “Cobra Farm”

Plenty of people over 40 are running a cobra farm with their diet.

You want to lose weight, so you slash your calories Monday to Friday.

By Friday night you’re absolutely starving, and the weekend turns into a free-for-all.

Do the maths.

Undereat by 500 calories a day for five days, and you’ve banked 2,500kcal.

One big Friday night and a Saturday blowout can hand the lot back and then some.

You finish the week having eaten more than if you’d eaten sensibly all along, knackered and wondering why the scale hasn’t budged.

If you’d eaten a bit more through the week, you’d have had far less urge to raid the cupboards on Saturday.

So how do we fix that?

Here’s how to stop breeding your own cobras…

#1. Do the Sunday review

Ten minutes and a pen, once a week.

Every Sunday, give yourself 10 minutes with a pen and answer three questions.

What worked this week? What didn’t work, and what lesson can I take from it?

What should I focus on this week that I didn’t do last week?

Those three questions will take you further than any programme on the planet, because they catch the cobras before they’ve had a chance to breed.

#2. Plan for maintenance over progress

The goal only counts if you can keep it.

Plenty of people obsess over hitting the goal and never think about keeping it.

Losing weight is much simpler than keeping it off, and the two usually need different approaches.

The maintenance approach is less extreme and takes a bit longer, and in return you get something you can actually sustain.

Before you start any plan, ask yourself whether you could eat and train like this for 12 months. If the answer’s no, scale it back until it’s a yes.

#3. Count the cost before you start

Every goal has a price tag. Read it first.

Any kind of success usually comes with a sacrifice or a cost.

Before you chase your next goal, take 5 minutes and write down honest answers to two questions…

What am I sacrificing to get there?

What will reaching it cost me?

Getting shredded to a six-pack sounds brilliant.

Then the energy dips kick in, you can’t eat the same meals as your family, and you’re hangry from morning till night.

If your answers include regularly missing meals at the family table, then unless you’re an elite bodybuilder, the squeeze isn’t worth it.

Sometimes the price is worth paying. Other times the juice just isn’t worth the squeeze.

Good things take time. Anything you rush tends to breed cobras, so build something you can still be doing in 12 months.

Your Move

This Sunday, block out 10 minutes and answer the three review questions.

While you’ve got the pen out, run your current plan through the 12-month test.

If you couldn’t live with it for a year, dial it back before Monday comes round.

Thanks for reading this week’s Knowledge Bomb.

See you next Friday for another instalment.

— Jay Alderton

Episode two of The Power Walk. 30 minutes.

Phone in your pocket, shoes on, press play and walk.

This week we're doing your diary. Not the sexiest thing anyone's said to you this week, I know. Stick with me. It might be the most useful half hour of the whole series.

Your diary isn't a list of what you've got on. It's a list of what you actually value. And for most people over 40, the thing that moves every time something comes up is their own health. No discussion. It doesn't even feel like a decision.

On this walk:

- A two-minute breathing reset to clear your head

- Going back through your week and finding the bit that's actually for you

- What "I haven't got the time" really means, and what it's quietly costing you

- The big rock, and why your health goes in first (not because it matters more than your kids)

- Why three sessions a week is less than 1% of your week

- This week's one thing. It's admin. You'll want to skip it. Don't.

WALK WITH US

Every Monday in Thrive at 40, members post their Focus Three: the three sessions they're committing to that week, where everyone can see them. You've just picked yours on this walk. Come and post them.

Join here: https://www.skool.com/thriveat40/about

New to The Power Walk?

Start with episode one. The series builds week to week.

Walk somewhere safe, keep your head up, and if the breathing makes you light-headed, drop the holds and breathe normally.

Big rock goes in first. Everything else pours in around it.

Get your coat on. This one's a walk.

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This is the first Power Walk.

Here's how it works: you get outside, you press play, and you walk for half an hour. I talk for some of it. For a decent chunk of it I shut up and let you think, because the thinking is the bit that does something.

No pace to hit. No distance. No app counting your calories. Your phone goes in your pocket and it stays there.

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In this first episode we talk about the thing nobody mentions in September, that the whole house gets a fresh start except you.

The kids get a new teacher, a clean page and nobody holding last year against them. You get the same desk, the same inbox, the same Monday and the same body you had in August.

Then we get into what waiting actually costs you. Not the fitness that comes back quicker than you think.

It's the fourteen Januarys you've written off, and the file of evidence you've built saying you're the sort of person who doesn't stick at things.

Every one of those entries, you wrote yourself.

By the end you'll have picked one thing. Not a plan. Not an overhaul. One thing small enough that you can still picture yourself doing it in February, when it's dark and wet and nobody's watching.

You don't need a fresh start. You just need to start. They're two completely different things, and one of them you can do before you get home.

00:00 — Arrival. What The Power Walk is, and how to walk it. Shoulders down, chin up, phone in the pocket.

03:00 — Breath reset. Two minutes of box breathing. Four in, four hold, four out, four hold. Follow the sound, don't count.

06:00 — Recognition. School shoes, the doorstep photo, and the person who organised all of it. When did you last actually begin something?

12:00 — The cost. Fourteen years of waiting for January. What eleven days in a row actually buys you.

18:00 — The fire. Pace up. Find a hill. January is a made-up line on a calendar and your body has no idea what date it is.

23:00 — Breath down and the one thing. Longer exhales, then you pick your one thing and say it out loud on the pavement.

27:00 — Walk home. Tomorrow it'll feel small and a bit stupid. Do it anyway.

Your job this week

Pick one thing. Say it out loud while you're out there.

Not a plan, not a transformation — one thing you can still see yourself doing in February. Three walks a week. No drink on a school night. Lights out by half ten. This walk, same time, every week for sixteen weeks.

Then do it tomorrow, when you don't feel like this.

Anything above zero compounds if you do it long enough.

What's in this episode

Sixteen episodes, one a week, through to the end of the year. Same shape every time: you get outside, you get your breath sorted, you get something to chew on, and you come home with one decision made.

Best done on the same day each week so it becomes a fixture rather than a thing you fit in. Headphones, coat, no destination.

The breath work in this episode is done walking, at an easy pace. If you get light-headed at any point, drop the holds and breathe normally. If you're pregnant, or you've got a heart or respiratory condition, or anything else that makes you pause — skip the holds and just walk. It works fine without them.

If you want people walking next to you while you do this, that's what Thrive at 40 is for people over forty, rebuilding one ordinary decision at a time.

👉 https://www.skool.com/thriveat40

What came out wasn't really a business podcast. It's about pace, obsession, escapism, ADHD, and what it's like being a dad to kids who are wired the same way you are.

What we get into:

• Why the day you plant the seed isn't the day you pick the flower — and how much pressure that takes off you in the quiet stretches

• Minimum effective dose, and why the boring version of consistency is harder than the dramatic version

• Freezing Tuesday night in Stoke vs Wembley on a Saturday — who you actually are when it's not fun

• Why everyone asks for thirty books in January and reads four

• Escapism, and why we both need somewhere the phone doesn't come

• ADHD as an interest surplus rather than an attention deficit

• Whether a label gives you relief or gives you an excuse

• Parenting a kid with the same wiring as you — and getting the push/pull balance wrong

• The runway: realising you've got a handful of years left where they still want to come with you

• Cringe mountain, and why being embarrassing is the job description

Fair warning it's sweary and it goes everywhere. That's rather the point.

Links

Paul Mort: https://www.instagram.com/paulmortofficial/

Thrive at 40: https://www.skool.com/thriveat40

If you got something out of this, a rating and a review genuinely help more people find it.

So when you stop, you're not giving up a drink. You're rebuilding your entire emotional operating system from scratch, at 40-odd years old, with no instructions. In this podcast, I discuss Why year one feels like something is permanently missing, and why that feeling is accurate rather than a sign you're failing

How you build new evidence: your first holiday, first Christmas, first birthday, first grief, all banked without it

Drink dreams, and why your brain keeps writing you a future with alcohol in it that doesn't exist

The difference between having a thought and acting on oneWhy a craving passes in 15 to 20 minutes, and what that single fact changes I'm 18 months in. I'm not going to tell you it gets easy, because it didn't. I'll tell you it gets different, and that's better. If you're over 40 and you've been quietly wondering whether the drinking is the thing holding everything else back — this one's for you. If you're struggling with alcohol, please talk to your GP or a support service. There's no medal for doing it on your own. Join the Thrive at 40 community (7-day trial)https://www.skool.com/thriveat40

Here are six simple things that keep you on track when the routine goes out the window.

Every year it's the same pattern. The kids break up, the plans stack up, the routine falls apart, and by September you're back where you started.

But a repeatable problem deserves a repeatable strategy, and that's exactly what this video gives you.

I've spent 14 years coaching people in person and online, and over 15,000 people have been through my programmes and challenges.

These six tips are the ones I give clients every single summer, because they work when time, energy and patience are all in short supply.

You'll learn why controlling your environment beats relying on willpower, how a 10-minute EMOM can replace the gym session you haven't got time for, why maintaining your weight over six weeks is genuine progress rather than failure, and the one keystone habit that makes every other habit easier to hold.

Come and join us in Thrive at 40, my community for anyone approaching 40, at 40, or beyond who wants to get fit, focused and energised

https://www.skool.com/thriveat40

No pace to hit, no distance to track, just you, my voice, and a few questions worth walking with.

Fair warning: it starts gentle. It doesn't stay gentle.

This walk is Day 1 of the Just Do One Thing Challenge

Seven days, one small thing a day, built for people with a job, a family, and about forty spare minutes on a good day. It's free.

If you've found this on its own, start the challenge here:

👉 Join Here

Small things done consistently turn into big things over time.

This walk is the first one.

This is a guided breathwork session based on the Wim Hof Method.

If you've never done anything like this before, here's what actually happens....

You'll take around thirty deep breaths in a row. Then you'll breathe out and hold, no air in your lungs, for as long as is comfortable.

Then one deep breath back in, hold that for fifteen seconds, and let go.

That's one round. We do three.

You'll probably feel tingling in your hands and face, maybe a bit light-headed.

That's normal, and it passes.

What most people notice afterwards is a kind of calm they haven't felt in a while, and a much easier night's sleep.

Why I'm putting this on a podcast for people over 40.

Your problem was never that you can't work hard. You've been working hard for twenty-odd years, That's half the reason you're knackered.

The problem is you've got no gear between full throttle and unconscious.

Work, kids, phone, telly, sleep, repeat.

This is that missing gear. Being able to drop your own heart rate on purpose is a skill, and like any skill, you have to practise it.

Twenty minutes. You've got twenty minutes.

⚠️ READ THIS BEFORE YOU START

This is the important bit. Please don't skip it.

NEVER do this breathing in or near water. No baths, no pools, no sea, no showers. Breath holding after deep breathing can make you black out with no warning at all. People have drowned doing this. This is not a "be careful" — it's a never.

Never do it while driving, or operating anything, or standing up, or anywhere you could fall and hurt yourself.

Always sit or lie down somewhere safe and soft. Do it at home, on the floor or in a chair, with nothing hard nearby.

It's normal to feel tingling, light-headedness, or a bit spaced out. It is not normal to feel real pain or serious distress — if you do, stop, breathe normally, and don't push on.

Never force a breath hold. This is not a competition and there is no target. When your body wants air, take it.

Do not do this session if you are pregnant, or if you have epilepsy, high blood pressure, a heart condition, a history of stroke, or any respiratory condition — including asthma. If you've got any health condition at all, or you take regular medication, or you're just not sure, speak to your GP first. That's not me covering myself, that's genuinely the right call.

By listening you accept that you're doing this at your own risk. I'm a fitness coach, not a doctor, and I can't see you through a podcast. Use your own judgement and be sensible.

If you've stumbled across this on its own hello.

This session is Day 5 of the Just Do One Thing Challenge.

Seven days, one small task a day. A walk, three short workouts, a stretch session, this breathwork, and a ten-minute reflection at the end. That's it.

No overhaul, no diet, no six-week transformation photo.

It's built for people over 40 who've got a job, a family, and about forty spare minutes on a good day. The whole thing runs on one idea: small things done consistently turn into big things over time.

It's free, and you can start it whenever you like.

👉 CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE JUST DO ONE THING CHALLENGE

In this episode, I break down 7 science-backed longevity tips to help you reclaim your energy, sharpen your mind, and build a body that lasts. No biohacking fads. Just real strategies the longest-living, highest-performing men swear by.

Whether you're dealing with low energy, brain fog, belly fat that won't shift, or you've just lost your edge, these 7 habits are the foundation for thriving in your 40s, 50s, and beyond.

CONNECT WITH JAY:

🔗 Apply for the Renaissance Man Programme — https://jayalderton.typeform.com/to/SZswaJP4

📚 Free: 40 Books Every Man Should Read at 40 — https://jayalderton.myflodesk.com/ch033qbyrk

🌐 Website — https://www.jayalderton.com/

You run a successful business. You've got kids. You're smashing it professionally, but your body tells a different story.

Sound familiar?

In this episode, I'm laying out the complete blueprint I'd follow if I had 90 days to lose 30 pounds as a stressed business owner with two kids.

No extreme diets, no two-hour cardio sessions, no miserable crash plans that leave you right back where you started.

I'm breaking down the hidden leaks in your system that are quietly sabotaging your progress, the late-night scoffing, the weekend blowouts, the kids' leftovers you pretend don't count and giving you the exact playbook to plug them for good.

I also get into the three non-negotiables every busy man needs each week, how to structure your day so fitness fits around your life instead of competing with it, why your evening routine is making or breaking your results, and how tracking your stress through breathwork and HRV could be the thing that changes everything.

If you've been telling yourself you're too busy, you're too busy not to sort this out.

📋 Download the FREE 90-Day Blueprint PDF: https://jayalderton.myflodesk.com/blueprint

💪 Apply for the Renaissance Man Programme: https://jayalderton.typeform.com/to/SZswaJP4

🍽️ The Good Prep (meal prep, UK): https://thegoodprep.com/

Let’s dive in, shall we?

#1 Toward and Away Moves

Here’s a question most people never ask themselves…

Am I actually moving toward my life, or just running away from the bits I don’t want to deal with?

Russ Harris wrote about this in The Happiness Trap, and it’s one of the sharpest frameworks I’ve come across.

Every action you take falls into one of two categories…

Toward moves — things you do because they align with who you want to be. Could be uncomfortable. Probably will be uncomfortable. Doesn’t matter. You’re moving in the right direction.

Away moves — things you do to avoid feeling something you don’t want to feel. Dodging the awkward conversation. Cancelling plans because your anxiety’s whispering. Staying in a job you hate because the alternative is scary.

From the outside? They can look identical.

Skipping that party could be a good move; maybe you genuinely value a quiet night with your family. Or it could be an away move, small talk makes you want to crawl out of your skin, so you bottled it.

Same action. Completely different driver.

The goal isn’t to beat yourself up.

It’s to be honest.

Because if you’re making away moves on autopilot, day after day… you’re not building a life. You’re just managing avoidance.

So next time you make a decision, stop for two seconds and ask…

Is this toward or away?

That one question is worth more than most therapy sessions!

#2 A Rising Tide Lifts All Boats

Your personal development isn’t just about you.

I know that sounds like fortune-cookie bollocks, but hear me out.

When you get your act together, when you sort your health, sharpen your mindset, show up better for the people around you, it doesn’t just benefit you…

It radiates outward.

Your kids see it. Your partner feels it. Your mates notice it. The whole bloody environment around you shifts!

That’s the rising tide. And it lifts everyone’s boats.

But here’s the side nobody talks about…

A falling tide strands all boats too.

When you’re checked out, running on empty, treating your body like a rental car and your relationships like an afterthought… that falls on everyone around you, too. It’s not just your problem. It becomes theirs.

I’m not saying that to guilt-trip you.

I’m saying it because most men need a bigger reason than themselves to make changes stick. “Getting abs” isn’t enough. But knowing that getting your act together directly improves the lives of the people you love? That’s fuel that doesn’t run out.

So stop thinking of self-improvement as selfish.

It’s one of the most generous things you can do.

Make some waves!

#3 A Rested Muscle Doesn’t Get Stronger

This is the one nobody wants to hear.

So I’ll be direct…

Growth doesn’t happen in comfort. It happens because of discomfort.

In the gym, this is just basic science. When you lift heavy, you create tiny tears in your muscle fibres. Your body repairs them stronger than before. That’s how adaptation works. That’s how progress is made.

Sit on your arse and nothing tears. Nothing repairs. Nothing grows.

Now apply that same logic to every other area of your life.

The difficult conversation you keep postponing. The business idea you keep “almost” starting. The habit you keep saying you’ll build “when the time is right.”

That’s your comfort zone doing what comfort zones do, keeping you exactly where you are.

Rest has its place. Recovery matters. I’m not telling you to run yourself into the ground. But if avoiding discomfort is your default setting, you’re not recovering. You’re stagnating.

The job application that scares you? That’s a dumbbell.

The hard conversation? That’s a dumbbell.

The thing you’ve been putting off for six months because you’re “not quite ready”?

You’re never going to be ready. Pick up the bloody dumbbell.

Growth lives on the other side of uncomfortable. Always has. Always will.

#4 Your Bad Day Track Record Is 100%

Steve Harvey said something that’s stuck with me:

“Always remind yourself that your track record for making it through bad days is 100%.”

Read that again.

Every single bad day you’ve ever had, every moment where everything went sideways, where you felt like you couldn’t function, where the universe seemed personally invested in ruining your life, you came through it.

That’s not a small thing. That’s a perfect record.

When you’re in the middle of a rough patch, your brain will try to convince you that this time is different. This time it’s worse. This time, you might not make it through.

Bollocks.

You’ve got the evidence. Every hard thing you’ve faced, you’ve survived. Most of them, you’ve learned something from. A few of them, you’ve come out stronger on the other side.

So when it gets dark

(and it will, because that’s just life)

Don’t bury your head. Don’t pretend everything’s fine. But do remind yourself of your track record.

You’re not fragile.

You’re field-tested.

This week’s four, stripped back:

1. Every decision is either moving toward your values or away from discomfort. Know which one you’re making.

2. Your personal growth is a rising tide. The people around you either rise with you or get stranded. Choose wisely.

3. Discomfort isn’t the enemy. It’s the mechanism. Stop avoiding it.

4. You have a 100% success rate on bad days. Act like it.

Hope you enjoyed this week’s Knowledge Bombs. See you next week.

Jay

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The "physical activity paradox" in healthcare workers study

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Get my 40 Books Every Man Should Read at 40

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Too tired to train after work? You're lying to yourself and Jay's going to prove it.

In this episode, Jay breaks down exactly why the gym doesn't drain your energy; it generates it.

Whether you're a desk jockey who's mentally fried or a manual labourer who's physically beaten up, there's a reason you need to get in that gym, and it's not the same reason for both of you.

Jay gives you six no-nonsense principles to rewire how you think about training, fatigue, and energy so you stop making excuses and start showing up!

Buckle up, it's going to be a bumpy ride!

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To grab two weeks free of Pliability stretching, click here

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If you're a man over 35 looking for a plan of action to create your healthiest and happiest self, then click here to apply for my Renaissance Man programme

from “forest bathing” to getting your daily dose of happy chemicals.

No expensive courses.

No complicated techniques.

Just practical shit that works!

Let’s go...

#1 - Shinrin-Yoku

“What in the world is Shinrin-Yoku?” I hear you ask.

Well, it’s not some obscure sushi dish, nor is it a new form of yoga.

In fact, it’s as old as the trees themselves and far simpler than you might think.

Directly translated from Japanese, Shinrin-Yoku means “forest bathing,” and it’s all about soaking up the natural environment through your senses.

As you take a deep breath, you inhale the fresh, cool air, perfumed by pine needles and damp earth.

Your ears pick up on the wind rustling through the leaves, the soft cooing of a distant bird, the rustle of a small creature in the undergrowth.

The world outside the forest seems a distant memory.

And suddenly, those things you were so worried about?

They just don’t seem to matter as much.

The art of Shinrin-Yoku lies in the ability to fully engage with the present moment.

It’s about unplugging from the incessant buzz of the digital world and the constant chatter of our own minds.

Shinrin-Yoku isn’t going to solve all your problems.

But it can provide a much-needed pause, a chance to reflect and reset.

And in this frantic, chaotic world of ours, maybe that’s just what we all need!

#2 - Come to the Edge

I read a poem this week which I want to speak about:

Come to the edge, We might fall, Come to the edge, It’s too high!, COME TO THE EDGE!, And they came, and he pushed, And they flew. - Christopher Logue

Christopher Logue’s poem is not about standing on some literal cliff…

It’s about the metaphorical edges in our lives, the ones we come up against when we have the opportunity to grow, to change, to evolve into something more.

Those moments where we’re standing on the precipice of a decision or a change.

Should we take that new job?

Should we end that relationship?

Should we move to a new city?

“We might fall.”

That’s the voice of fear, right there!

It’s the nagging doubt that makes us second-guess ourselves.

It’s that little prickling sensation in the pit of our stomach that makes us step back from the edge and retreat into the safe, comfortable cocoon of familiarity.

“It’s too high!”

That’s fear in full force, holding us back, whispering in our ear that it’s better to play it safe than risk failing or getting hurt.

But then the poem takes a turn.

“COME TO THE EDGE!”

This line is the voice of courage, of audacity, of defiance.

It’s the voice that drowns out fear and compels us to take that leap, to embrace the unknown, to take that risk.

And guess what happens?

They come, they get pushed, and “they flew.”

They didn’t fall.

They didn’t crash.

They flew.

Here’s the thing…

We don’t know if we can fly until we take that leap.

The fear will always be there, whispering that we might fall, that it’s too high, that it’s safer to stay where we are.

But staying where we are means stagnation.

It means not growing or living our lives fully.

Stop playing it safe.

Come to the edge.

#3 - Glimmers

Something that I talk about a lot is “Triggers.”

These are the day-to-day things that cause you to get angry and respond.

Today, I want to talk a little bit about the opposite of triggers, and that’s “Glimmers.”

Put simply, glimmers are those tiny sparks of positivity, the fleeting moments of joy, comfort, and connection that light up our lives like tiny stars in the night sky.

These can be anything from the warmth of a friend’s smile to the euphoria of nailing that tough workout, from the soothing calm of a deep breath to the satisfaction of sinking into your bed after a long day.

Life, for the most part, can be a grind.

We’re constantly dealing with shitstorms of stress, worry, disappointment, and every other negative emotion under the sun.

But amidst the chaos, amidst the turmoil, there are these moments, these glimmers, that shine brightly, if only for a split second.

The trick here isn’t to chase these glimmers or try to manufacture them.

Because, let’s be honest, we can’t force a genuine moment of joy or connection any more than we can force a puppy to stay still.

The trick is to be present, to be in tune with ourselves and our surroundings, so we can recognise and appreciate these glimmers when they do appear.

#4 - Your Daily D.O.S.E

Many years ago, I read an incredible book by Simon Sinek titled “Leaders Eat Last.”

In this book, one of the chapters was “A D.O.S.E of Happiness,” with DOSE standing for:

Dopamine, Oxytocin, Serotonin, and Endorphins.

What’s incredible about these four happy chemicals is that we can get all of them by doing things for free.

So let’s dive into each one, explain them a little better, and see what you can do with each of them.

Dopamine - The Motivation and Reward Chemical

There are a few things that we can do daily for a positive dopamine hit that don’t involve our mobile phones:

Meditation and Mindfulness: Regular practice can increase dopamine levels. This practice reduces stress and promotes a positive outlook.

Listening to Music: Studies have shown that listening to music you enjoy can increase dopamine release.

Eat Protein: Proteins are full of amino acids, including tyrosine. Tyrosine is used by the body to produce dopamine.

Oxytocin - The Love and Connection Chemical

Oxytocin is often referred to as the “bonding hormone” or “love hormone” because it plays a crucial role in forming social bonds and maintaining relationships. Here are some habits and activities that can stimulate the release of oxytocin:

Physical Affection: Hugging, cuddling, and other forms of touch can stimulate oxytocin release. This is one reason why physical affection can make us feel closer and more connected to people.

Helping Others: Acts of kindness and generosity towards others can promote the release of oxytocin. This can include volunteering or doing something nice for a friend or loved one.

Petting Animals: Spending time with animals, especially pets, has been shown to increase oxytocin levels.

Serotonin - The Mood Enhancer Chemical

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter that plays a significant role in mood regulation, sleep, appetite, and overall feelings of well-being and happiness. Here are some habits and activities that can help to increase serotonin levels naturally:

Sunlight: Exposure to sunlight can increase the brain’s production of serotonin, boosting your mood and helping to keep your circadian rhythms in balance.

Socialising: Spending time with people you care about can boost your mood and increase your serotonin levels. This can be family, friends, or anyone else you enjoy being around.

Massage: Studies show that massage can increase serotonin levels by nearly 30%. This can lead to improved mood and reduced stress and anxiety.

Endorphins - The Reduction of Pain and Stress Chemical

Endorphins are often referred to as the body’s “feel-good” chemicals. They are neurotransmitters that help relieve pain and reduce emotional stress. Here are some positive habits that can naturally stimulate the release of endorphins:

Exercise: Regular physical activity is one of the most effective ways to increase endorphin release. This is often referred to as the “runner’s high,” but it doesn’t just apply to running - any form of vigorous exercise can do it.

Laughter: Laughing has been shown to increase endorphin levels. Find something that makes you laugh, whether it’s a comedy show, a funny movie, or time spent with friends who make you giggle.

Deep Breathing and Relaxation Techniques: These activities can help reduce stress and stimulate endorphin release.

As you can see from the above, you can pretty much stimulate most of your happiness chemicals without it costing anything!

Transforming your mind doesn’t require expensive courses or complicated techniques.

It requires simple, practical actions you can do every single day.

Stop doing this:

• Scrolling through your phone instead of walking in nature

• Playing it safe and avoiding the edge

• Only focusing on what triggers you negatively

• Relying on your phone for dopamine hits

Start doing this:

• Get outside and practice Shinrin-Yoku

• Come to the edge - take risks and embrace the unknown

• Notice the glimmers - the tiny moments of joy throughout your day

• Get your daily DOSE naturally - meditate, hug people, get sunlight, exercise, laugh

The best things in life are free.

Laugh often, spend time with the people that you love, and get a good sweat on regularly.

These are the things that will give you a happy life.

Now stop reading and go do one of them.

Jay Alderton

It's Brutal and triggering, but I always get a few good reminders from reading it, so I decided to turn the entire blog post into a podcast!

If you want to read it, then click here.

A Massive shoutout to Jason Pargin for this blog post and to Cracked.com for keeping the fire alive with this classic!

Enjoy!

In this episode of the Jay Alderton podcast, personal trainer and content creator Matt West, known for his viral series “F*ck or Suck," shares his journey and the importance of authenticity in building an audience. 

Check Out Matt's Page Here

Let’s go..

#1 - You Don’t Have to Get It Right, You Just Have to Get It Going

I finally dusted off my YouTube channel this year and filmed a bunch of new videos because of a quote I heard…

“You don’t have to get it right, you just have to get it going.” - Mike Litman

The reasons for not getting started with YouTube?

I was waiting for the perfect time to script the perfect video and find the perfect thumbnail before starting on my channel.

I was so focused on trying to get it right the first time that I didn’t start at all.

What this quote has helped me realise is that you don’t need to have all the answers now.

You just need to get it going.

Here’s what this looks like in practice…

• If you want to exercise but you don’t know what you’re doing in the gym, don’t wait to read the book or for a coach to give you a programme. Just get to the gym and move some iron around.

• If you’re sick and tired of your job so you’re on the lookout for the perfect replacement, don’t wait for it to fall on your lap. Just start looking and applying for new ones. It doesn’t have to be the “perfect replacement.” The goal is to get out of the miserable job you’re currently doing.

“You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.” - Ray Bradbury

Stop waiting for perfect.

Start doing imperfect.

#2 - Fair Weather Friends vs Foul Weather Friends

Let’s dive into friendship - that quirky, erratic yet endearing aspect of life.

We’re dealing with two categories here:..

Fair weather friends and foul weather friends.

Fair Weather Friends

They’re like the perfect summer day.

They come alive when everything’s dandy and bright in your world. They’re there for the laughs, the parties, the thrills.

But when the storm hits, they’re more elusive than a snowflake in the Sahara.

Foul Weather Friends

These warriors stand with you through the thunder and downpour.

They’re not put off by a bit of rain or wind. In the face of trouble, they’ll brave the tempest and offer you their steadfast companionship.

Remember, both types have their value.

Fair-weather friends bring moments of joy, while foul-weather friends offer a hand when you stumble.

But when the clouds roll in, it’s the foul-weather friends who’ll share your umbrella.

Aim to be that kind of friend: there for the sunny days, but also ready to face the storm.

In friendship, consistency beats fair weather every time.

#3 - The Power of Reframing

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs that make you feel like a cartoon character getting repeatedly hit in the head.

So, what’s the secret to not ending up like Wile E. Coyote post-anvil-dropping?

One word: Reframing.

Reframing is the power to take any situation - no matter how dire - and twist it, turn it, flip it upside down to view it in a new light.

Let’s say your boss gave you more work than you can handle.

Instead of seeing it as a one-way ticket to Stressville, reframe it.

See it as a trust exercise, a chance to improve your time-management skills, or better yet, an opportunity to strut your stuff and shine.

Sounds too simple? Yeah, it does. But that’s the beauty of it.

Reframing isn’t about denying reality; it’s about choosing which aspect of reality you decide to focus on.

It’s choosing to see the opportunity in the obstacle, the lesson in the failure, the potential in the problem.

The trick to reframing, though, is honesty.

You can’t just slap a happy sticker on a crappy situation and call it a day.

You have to dig deep, get real, and find a perspective that’s true to you, one that empowers and motivates you.

So, next time life gives you a sour lemon, don’t just make lemonade. Reframe it. See it as life’s quirky way of supplying you with free citrus.

Remember: Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it!

#4 - The 5 Whys

Ask enough whys and you’ll get down to the root cause of your problem.

I had a person come to me not long ago and say that they were struggling to lose weight, and no matter what diet they tried to stick to, they just couldn’t drop the weight.

I asked them why.

They said it was because they have been so busy and all their routines have been out of whack.

I asked them why.

They said it’s because they’ve just moved house and were juggling a brand new job.

I asked them why.

They said it’s because they were unhappy where they were previously, which is why they moved home and career.

I asked them why.

They said they had been constantly arguing with their partner and decided to separate, go their own ways, and start again from scratch.

I asked them why.

They said because they had fallen out of love and were both very different people from when they first met. They wanted different things now and never saw eye to eye.

At first, this question seemed like nothing more than a person struggling to keep consistent with their diet.

But the deeper we go and unpack it, the more we realise there are so many deeper things we need to address before looking at their diet.

If there’s something you’re struggling with right now, I want you to do this exercise for yourself.

Ask yourself enough whys, and you’ll eventually get yourself to the real reasons you’re not where you want to be.

Stop treating symptoms.

Start finding root causes.

These mindset tricks aren’t complicated.

They’re just practical tools most people ignore.

Stop doing this:

• Waiting for the perfect moment to get things going

• Surrounding yourself with fair-weather friends who disappear when things get hard

• Looking at setbacks as failures instead of opportunities

• Treating symptoms instead of finding root causes

Start doing this:

• Get it going, even if it’s not perfect - you’ll figure it out along the way

• Find your foul-weather friends - the people who’ll be there no matter the weather

• Reframe everything that happens to you as an opportunity to improve

• Ask “why” five times to get to the root cause of what’s holding you back

You don’t learn anything from a perfect week.

You learn from getting started, choosing the right people, reframing problems, and digging deep to find real answers.

Jay Alderton

Let’s go...

#1 - Oil on the Canvas

“You don’t have to paint a masterpiece each day, you just have to put some oil on the canvas.” - Brendan Burchard

Procrastination is one of the biggest killers of progress, and one of the main reasons is trying to get everything done in a day.

The key to success is “chunking things down”

and committing to doing it every single day.

Here’s what this looks like in practice:

• Don’t try to get 30 books read in a year. Commit to one chapter a day, and you’ll hit that 30-book goal by November.

• Don’t try to lose weight. Think of ways you can get an extra 2,000 steps a day and make a commitment to that. If nothing else changed, you would have accumulated 730,000 extra steps in a year, equivalent to 21,900 calories, which is 6.2lbs of body weight.

If you commit to putting a little oil on the canvas each day, you’ll have a masterpiece pretty soon.

Stop trying to do everything today.

Start doing something small every single day.

#2 - Help, Heard, Hugged?

Earlier this year, I interviewed with New York Times Best Selling Author Sahil Bloom, and he had an incredible process that he uses when friends come to him with a problem:

“Do you want help? To be heard? Or to be hugged?”

Help

Sometimes people will come to you with a problem they are looking to solve.

Don’t forget to ask them if they would like help fixing the problem, because they might want to be heard.

Heard

Sometimes people just want to be heard.

They want someone they can rely on to clear the air and listen to their fears and frustrations without judgment.

Hugged

Sometimes people don’t want help or to be heard.

They’re going through something really shitty at the moment, and all they need is a good old hug.

You’ll be amazed at how much this helps when others are feeling like this.

This is such an effective process to use with those close to you.

Find your “hearers,” “helpers,” and “huggers,” and don’t forget to ask for them yourself from time to time.

Stop assuming you know what people need.

Start asking them.

#3 - Looking Through Prison Bars

I heard a quote years back that stuck with me:

“Two men looked through prison bars, one saw mud, the other saw stars.”

Embrace the power of perspective, for it holds the key to unlocking your potential.

By shifting your mindset and discovering new viewpoints, you can transform challenges into opportunities and setbacks into lessons.

By changing your perception of what happens to you, you’ll empower yourself to navigate life with resilience and optimism.

Remember: It’s not the world that defines you, but rather the lens through which you choose to view it.

You can’t control what happens to you in life, but you can control how you look at the situation.

It’s only in darkness that you can see the stars.

#4 - Accepting Angry Gifts

In a small town, a man was giving a speech when a young man began shouting insults.

Instead of getting angry, he asked the young man:

“If you buy a gift for someone and they don’t accept it, who does it belong to?”

The young man replied that it would still belong to him.

The man explained that the same applies to anger.

If someone is angry and the other person doesn’t accept the hostility, the anger remains with the angry person, hurting only themself.

Lesson: Don’t surrender to anger or let others take your personal power.

Reflect their actions and protect your higher self, as the only person affected by negativity is the one projecting it.

When someone tries to give you the gift of their anger, don’t accept it.

Let them keep it.

These aren’t complicated concepts…

They’re simple truths that most people ignore.

Stop doing this:

• Trying to do everything at once and getting overwhelmed

• Assuming you know what people need without asking

• Letting circumstances control your perspective

• Accepting other people’s anger as if it’s yours to carry

Start doing this:

• Put oil on the canvas every day - small, consistent actions win

• Ask people: “Do you want help, to be heard, or to be hugged?”

• Choose to see stars instead of mud, even when things are dark

• Refuse to accept the gift of someone else’s anger

Progress isn’t about painting masterpieces every day.

It’s about showing up consistently and putting in the work!

Jay Alderton

No fluff.

Just practical mental tools you can use starting today.

Let’s go...

#1 - Expose Yourself

Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl was a Holocaust survivor who wrote the influential book “Man’s Search for Meaning.”

In this book, he details his experiences in Nazi concentration camps and his discovery of the importance of finding meaning and purpose in life, even in the most challenging circumstances.

One of the techniques he uses is called “Paradoxical Intention.”

Paradoxical intention is like a mind trick we use to help ourselves feel better when we’re anxious or worried about something.

It’s when we try to do the thing we fear on purpose, so we no longer fear it anymore.

Here’s a couple of examples…

Public Speaking

Imagine you’re worried about speaking in front of people because you think you’ll stutter or forget what to say.

With paradoxical intention, you might purposely try to stutter or forget your lines.

This helps you feel more in control, and you might find that you don’t stutter or forget as much as you thought you would.

Social Anxiety

Suppose you’re nervous about going to a party because you think you’ll be too shy to talk to anyone.

Instead of avoiding the party, you challenge yourself to be the quietest person there and try not to say a word.

This way, you’re in control of your shyness, and you might even feel more confident to start talking to others when you’re ready.

Here’s the thing…

When it comes to anxieties and fears, constantly avoiding the things that trigger them makes it our default response next time they appear.

To overcome these feelings, we need to expose ourselves to them and actually go as far as feeling them as much as possible.

It’s only then that we realise it’s not as bad as we think in these situations and can finally start to overcome them.

Stop avoiding what scares you.

Start deliberately exposing yourself to it.

#2 - Boiling a Frog

The “boiling a live frog” analogy is often used to describe a situation in which a gradual, unnoticed change occurs until it results in a significant, potentially harmful outcome.

The story behind the analogy is that if a frog is placed in a pot of boiling water, it will immediately jump out due to the sudden and extreme temperature change.

However, if the frog is placed in a pot of cool water that is slowly heated to boiling, it won’t perceive the gradual increase in temperature.

It will eventually be cooked without realising the danger.

An analogy that I like to use is this…

If you walked into a room that stank of shit and stayed there, you’d get used to the smell.

It’s only when you leave the room and come back in that you realise how bad it smells.

Throughout our lives, we experience a lot of unnecessary suffering because we get used to the shitty environments we have put ourselves in.

This is why constant self-reflection and assessment of the people around you and the places you are in is so critical.

It’s not easy to change your friend circles, your job or career, or the place where you live, but the pain of change is much less painful than the pain of remaining the same.

Don’t get comfortable in an uncomfortable environment.

The longer you spend there, the harder it is to leave.

#3 - If We Were Wise

I owe much of my thinking process, especially when it comes to relationships, to Alain de Botton.

His company, The School of Life, offers a range of incredible books and gifts to support personal development.

On their Instagram page, they shared an incredible quote titled “If we were wise,”

which I just had to share with you here…

“If we were wise, we would stay very pessimistic about how things turn out.

We would remind ourselves on an hourly basis that all relationships are riven with pain, all business ventures are maddening, and all families are demented.

We would accept that we aren’t being persecuted.

This is how things universally are

(it’s just that other people carefully omit to speak frankly about its existence).

We would get less hopeful and - therefore - less bitter and less furious.

Of course things are slightly disastrous.

Of course we have made some terrible mistakes.

Of course we have been betrayed and treated badly.

It’s all eminently and supremely normal.

We would cease lamenting our wrong turns.

We probably married the wrong person; we almost certainly chose the wrong career. Probably we’re living in the wrong country

(and definitely the wrong house).

We invested in useless things.

We befriended unworthy sorts.

We made awful errors bringing up our children.

We’ve neglected our health.

We’d be starting to get it right if we lived to 1,000 or could do half a dozen practice runs.

Wisdom starts with a dark belly laugh - and a full acknowledgement that we are idiots now, we were idiots then, and we will be idiots tomorrow.

There are simply no other options for a human being, and that’s more than OK.”

The antidote to perfectionism is to realise how imperfect we really are.

Stop expecting life to be perfect.

It never will be, and that’s fine.

#4 - Negative Visualisation

One of the most powerful practices you can do is gratitude.

However...

A lot of people struggle to do it, and when they do, they don’t really get the benefit.

Enter something called “Negative Visualisation.”

Negative visualisation is a Stoic technique that involves imagining the loss of things we cherish to appreciate them better.

Here’s how it works:

I want you to imagine something you hold dear.

It could be a loved one or a person close to you.

Now I want you to imagine getting a phone call from the police to say they were involved in a nasty accident and they are no longer with us.

(Sombre, I know, but go with me on this...)

The point in the practice is to think deeply about this becoming a reality, but don’t dwell on it.

Open your eyes, get back to reality, and realise that you should be grateful to have them in your life and to give them a call or go and see them.

I do this practice a lot when I see my Dad’s van drive past my house.

I remind myself that one day, he will be gone, and how excited I would be to see his van drive past my house just one more time.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

Visualise often a life without the things you love, and you’ll appreciate having them more.

These aren’t just philosophical concepts…

They’re practical tools you can use every single day.

Stop doing this:

• Avoiding what scares you and making the fear worse

• Getting comfortable in shitty environments that slowly destroy you

• Expecting perfection from life, relationships, and yourself

• Taking the people and things you love for granted

Start doing this:

• Expose yourself to your fears on purpose through paradoxical intention

• Constantly assess your environment and leave before you get too comfortable

• Accept that life is imperfect and that’s completely normal

• Visualise losing what you love to appreciate it more fully

Viktor Frankl survived Nazi concentration camps and still found meaning in life.

The Stoics practised negative visualisation thousands of years ago.

These techniques have stood the test of time because of one thing…

They Work!

Jay Alderton