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Showing People the Door

How to get others to follow your path of success

“Jamie how do I get motivated?”

This is something I get asked a lot when it comes to achieving success be it from a Body point of view, Business point of view or a Brain point of view.

I know something that doesn’t work for many people..


Walking up to someone who is severely overweight and saying..


Will not really work for the bulk of people (excuse the pun) although there is always an exception..

When we hear something we are not ready to hear especially if it is something we are not happy about we will subconsciously find a quick solution to reduce the stress and tension its causes us.

This is known as a Defence/Coping Mechanism

Say I was out with my Three Year Old daughter Elyza and she was being a little shit

“What three year old isn’t a little shit?”

A complete stranger comes up to me and tells me that she‘s being a little shit and I should try and keep her under control.

Few things would spring to my mind in response and one of the main things would be anger!

Who is this person to tell me how to control my daughter?

Does this person even have kids?

I would then look for some way of discrediting this person so I start to feel Better/Superior

This is perfectly normal behaviour for anyone that gets “Triggered”

Even though the things that the stranger is saying is true.

Learning how to control this emotional behaviour and understanding it will be written about in another blog post as what I want to talk today about is

How to motivate someone to do the things they need to do?

If telling someone isn’t going to work then what do we need to do?

One of the biggest key motivators in life is AUTONOMY

We do a lot of things in life based of what everyone else is doing (Herd Mentality)

Autonomy is basically the capacity of a “Rational Individual” to make an informed, un-coerced, decision

And here lies the problem!

How many Rational Individuals do you know?

Not Many.

We like to think we are rational most of the time when in reality we are just winging it through life hoping for the best!

We like to think that we make our own decisions

However most of these decisions are made for us through what we see and do on a daily basis.

What you listen, read and watch and what you think and do will be the reasons behind your successes and failures

Just knowing this however can be the key to motivating people to change.

The reason why people are stuck where they currently are is because they don’t believe that things can be different

So what do we need to do?


As much as you cant tell someone what they need to do you can show them the right paths to go down.

Leading by example is a great way of doing this. With my social media I never tell people what they need to eat and how they need to train.

I show them how I eat and train and get them to follow me down the same path of success.

Eat and Train Like me and you can look like me!! If only that was true!

If I have a client that doesn’t believe they can do something I will show them a person that was in a similar position as themselves who achieved success.

“I have two kids so cant go to the gym”

Show this person a client who has three kids and works out at home

“I have 50lbs to lose”

Show this person a client that has lost 50lbs and kept it off.

“I will never be successful as my mum and dad were poor”

Show this person a story of a person who had no family and still became a huge success

Most peoples self limiting beliefs come from their own rationalization that they cannot do the things that others can do

but when you show them the door they stand a much better chance of building momentum, being motivated and achieving their own levels of success.