I’ve got four hard truths this week that could genuinely change how you see yourself and the decisions you’re making every single day.
Let’s dive in, shall we?
#1 Toward and Away Moves
Here’s a question most people never ask themselves…
Am I actually moving toward my life, or just running away from the bits I don’t want to deal with?
Russ Harris wrote about this in The Happiness Trap, and it’s one of the sharpest frameworks I’ve come across.
Every action you take falls into one of two categories…
Toward moves — things you do because they align with who you want to be. Could be uncomfortable. Probably will be uncomfortable. Doesn’t matter. You’re moving in the right direction.
Away moves — things you do to avoid feeling something you don’t want to feel. Dodging the awkward conversation. Cancelling plans because your anxiety’s whispering. Staying in a job you hate because the alternative is scary.
From the outside? They can look identical.
Skipping that party could be a good move; maybe you genuinely value a quiet night with your family. Or it could be an away move, small talk makes you want to crawl out of your skin, so you bottled it.
Same action. Completely different driver.
The goal isn’t to beat yourself up.
It’s to be honest.
Because if you’re making away moves on autopilot, day after day… you’re not building a life. You’re just managing avoidance.
So next time you make a decision, stop for two seconds and ask…
Is this toward or away?
That one question is worth more than most therapy sessions!
#2 A Rising Tide Lifts All Boats
Your personal development isn’t just about you.
I know that sounds like fortune-cookie bollocks, but hear me out.
When you get your act together, when you sort your health, sharpen your mindset, show up better for the people around you, it doesn’t just benefit you…
It radiates outward.
Your kids see it. Your partner feels it. Your mates notice it. The whole bloody environment around you shifts!
That’s the rising tide. And it lifts everyone’s boats.
But here’s the side nobody talks about…
A falling tide strands all boats too.
When you’re checked out, running on empty, treating your body like a rental car and your relationships like an afterthought… that falls on everyone around you, too. It’s not just your problem. It becomes theirs.
I’m not saying that to guilt-trip you.
I’m saying it because most men need a bigger reason than themselves to make changes stick. “Getting abs” isn’t enough. But knowing that getting your act together directly improves the lives of the people you love? That’s fuel that doesn’t run out.
So stop thinking of self-improvement as selfish.
It’s one of the most generous things you can do.
Make some waves!
#3 A Rested Muscle Doesn’t Get Stronger
This is the one nobody wants to hear.
So I’ll be direct…
Growth doesn’t happen in comfort. It happens because of discomfort.
In the gym, this is just basic science. When you lift heavy, you create tiny tears in your muscle fibres. Your body repairs them stronger than before. That’s how adaptation works. That’s how progress is made.
Sit on your arse and nothing tears. Nothing repairs. Nothing grows.
Now apply that same logic to every other area of your life.
The difficult conversation you keep postponing. The business idea you keep “almost” starting. The habit you keep saying you’ll build “when the time is right.”
That’s your comfort zone doing what comfort zones do, keeping you exactly where you are.
Rest has its place. Recovery matters. I’m not telling you to run yourself into the ground. But if avoiding discomfort is your default setting, you’re not recovering. You’re stagnating.
The job application that scares you? That’s a dumbbell.
The hard conversation? That’s a dumbbell.
The thing you’ve been putting off for six months because you’re “not quite ready”?
You’re never going to be ready. Pick up the bloody dumbbell.
Growth lives on the other side of uncomfortable. Always has. Always will.
#4 Your Bad Day Track Record Is 100%
Steve Harvey said something that’s stuck with me:
“Always remind yourself that your track record for making it through bad days is 100%.”
Read that again.
Every single bad day you’ve ever had, every moment where everything went sideways, where you felt like you couldn’t function, where the universe seemed personally invested in ruining your life, you came through it.
That’s not a small thing. That’s a perfect record.
When you’re in the middle of a rough patch, your brain will try to convince you that this time is different. This time it’s worse. This time, you might not make it through.
Bollocks.
You’ve got the evidence. Every hard thing you’ve faced, you’ve survived. Most of them, you’ve learned something from. A few of them, you’ve come out stronger on the other side.
So when it gets dark
(and it will, because that’s just life)
Don’t bury your head. Don’t pretend everything’s fine. But do remind yourself of your track record.
You’re not fragile.
You’re field-tested.
This week’s four, stripped back:
Every decision is either moving toward your values or away from discomfort. Know which one you’re making.
Your personal growth is a rising tide. The people around you either rise with you or get stranded. Choose wisely.
Discomfort isn’t the enemy. It’s the mechanism. Stop avoiding it.
You have a 100% success rate on bad days. Act like it.
Hope you enjoyed this week’s Knowledge Bombs. See you next week.
Jay