In life, we often encounter situations where things seem to contradict each other.
However, these paradoxes can actually be opportunities for personal growth.
Today, we’ll explore five paradoxes that can help you expand your understanding of yourself and the world around you.
From the Ship of Theseus Paradox to the Willpower Paradox, each of these will challenge you to think differently and embrace new perspectives.
“I know one thing,” Socrates famously said. “That I know nothing.”
Let’s dive in...
#1 - The Ship of Theseus Paradox
The Ship of Theseus Paradox is a philosophical thought experiment that raises the question of whether an object that has had all its components replaced remains fundamentally the same object.
The paradox is named after Theseus, a legendary king of Athens in Greek mythology, and his ship.
Here’s how it goes…
Imagine a ship, the Ship of Theseus, that is constantly sailing the seas.
Over time, every single piece of the ship is replaced with new ones due to wear and tear, so that after several years, not a single piece of the original ship remains.
The question is then posed…
Is the ship that remains after all the replacements still the same ship that started the journey, or is it a different ship altogether?
On the one hand, it may seem that the ship is still the same because it retains its name, history, and purpose.
On the other hand, some argue that the ship is not the same because it’s composed entirely of different components.
One thing is for certain about the ship…
Whenever something on the ship becomes damaged or a part stops working, it is replaced, and the ship continues to work as well as it did 10 years before.
Here’s where it gets interesting:
When we look at people, they aren’t too dissimilar from the ship because of the following things:
Your skin regenerates every 27 days.
If you take 70% of a person’s liver away, 90% of it will grow back in 2 months.
Your taste buds regenerate every 10 days to 2 weeks.
A study at New York Medical College found your heart is actually dotted with stem cells that constantly rejuvenate it at least 3-4 times over a lifetime.
Your skeleton replaces itself every 10 years.
Physically, you are a completely different person from the person you were 10 years ago.
And yet you still carry all the limiting doubts, beliefs, and biases that you had back then, limiting your growth and success.
If your physical body can completely change over the course of its lifetime, then your mind can do so too.
Stop holding onto the person you were.
You’re already not that person anymore!
#2 - Sorites Paradox
Suppose you have a heap of sand, and you remove one grain from it.
Is it still a heap?
Yes, it is.
What if you remove one more grain?
It’s still a heap, right?
Yes.
But if you keep removing grains one by one, you’ll eventually end up with just one grain.
At what point does the heap become a non-heap?
The paradox arises because there seems to be no clear line between what counts as a heap and what doesn’t.
This is because the concept of a “heap” is vague and imprecise.
So how does this relate to personal development and growth?
A lot of times, when we set goals, they are very vague and imprecise.
People say to me, “I want to be healthier” or “I want to be more successful.”
But what does that really mean?
How do we know when we have reached our goal?
Here’s the thing…
Before you can see the heap (your outcome-based goal), you need to consistently add the habit (the grain of sand) every day.
So instead of saying “I want to be healthier,” you need to commit to a non-negotiable habit of three gym sessions a week.
Instead of saying “I want to be more successful,” commit to a skill which you practice every day for the next 3 years (e.g., writing, coding, singing).
Small things done consistently turn into big things over time, and it won’t be long before those grains of sand eventually start to look like a heap.
#3 - The Hedgehog’s Dilemma
The Hedgehog’s Dilemma is a concept introduced by philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer that describes the tension between the desire for intimacy and the fear of being hurt or rejected.
It uses the analogy of a group of hedgehogs huddling together for warmth on a cold winter night.
While they seek warmth from one another, they also risk hurting each other with their spines.
“Love is when you give someone else the power to destroy you, and you trust them not to do it.” - E. Lockhart
You desire close relationships and intimacy but fear being hurt, rejected, or vulnerable.
This fear causes you to emotionally and physically distance yourself from others, preventing you from forming meaningful relationships.
Overcoming the Hedgehog’s Dilemma requires you to confront your fear of vulnerability and develop the skills necessary to manage and communicate your emotions effectively.
This involves practising self-awareness, empathy, honing your communication skills, and most importantly...
Learning to trust others.
Many people fall into a self-fulfilling prophecy when it comes to relationships:
They start to get close to someone and open up more
They fear that person will break their heart, now you’ve let your walls down
They start to put the walls back up and create distance with that person
That person then leaves because you’re not being open with them
You get your heart broken and fulfil the prophecy
Stop protecting yourself from getting hurt by guaranteeing you’ll get hurt.
See the problem?
#4 - The Self-Defeating Prophecy
A Self-Defeating Prophecy is the complementary opposite of a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy in that it’s a prediction that prevents what it predicts from happening.
This is super important to understand before I delve deeper into how to use Self-Defeating Prophecies to succeed.
Example of a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy:
Say I was focused on losing weight and getting in shape, and deep down, I believed I would not be able to achieve it. Because of this, I stopped doing the things that would get me the result. That’s a Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.
Here’s an example of a Self-Defeating Prophecy…
Let’s say again I was focused on losing weight and getting in shape, and I told myself I was going to fail at achieving my goal.
That negative feedback made me question just how much I wanted to achieve my goal and gave me the focus and drive to succeed.
This is a Self-Defeating Prophecy.
So how can we “Slay the Dragon” and defeat the prophecy that’s in our minds and guarantee success?
Recognise: recognise the thoughts you’re having, get them out of your head and onto a piece of paper.
Challenge - Now that you have these thoughts written down, it’s time to challenge why you’re thinking these things. These will be down to fears, false beliefs, and temporary blips in self-confidence.
Realise - Write down the action that, if you did, would guarantee failure. An example of this would be (skipping my gym sessions, not tracking my nutrition, avoiding the scale).
Reframe - Now it’s time to reframe those actions into commitments to guarantee success. An example of this would be (3 gym sessions per week, track my nutrition, weigh myself every morning).
Act - Make a commitment to the habits to achieve the goal and add in some accountability (find a gym partner and put some skin in the game to keep up with the sessions, get a coach to submit my nutrition to each week, take a picture of me jumping on the scale and post it on my stories for accountability).
Celebrate—when you achieve your goal, get yourself something entirely selfish to reward yourself. You’ve slayed the dragon, and you need to remind yourself that doubts can be turned into wins.
#5 - The Willpower Paradox
The Willpower Paradox is the idea that the more we try to exert willpower to control our behaviour, the more we may experience a sense of loss of control.
This paradox arises because the act of trying to control our impulses or behaviour requires mental effort and energy, which can be depleted over time, leaving us more vulnerable to giving in to temptation.
For example…
If someone is in a customer-facing job and uses their willpower to smile at everyone all day and avoid arguing back, by the time they get home, they lose all control, which is why they end up in massive arguments with their loved ones.
Think of willpower like a phone battery.
If you wanted it to last all day, there are a few things you could do:
Turn off Bluetooth and Wi-Fi
Reduce the brightness on the screen
Make sure to bring a charger with you
If you want your “Willpower Battery” to stay full, there are a few things you can do too:
Turn off Bluetooth and Wi-Fi.Stop following negative things on social mediaReduce the brightness on the screen.Surround yourself with people who lift you upMake sure to bring a charger.Fill up your vessel daily (Exercise/Nutrition/Mindfulness)
Don’t rely on willpower to succeed…
Find ways to keep your battery full throughout the day by avoiding the things that drain it and focusing on the things that power it up.
Paradoxes aren’t just philosophical thought experiments….
They’re practical tools for understanding yourself and the world around you.
Stop doing this:
Holding onto the person you were 10 years ago
Setting vague goals without specific habits
Protecting yourself from hurt by sabotaging relationships
Letting negative prophecies become self-fulfilling
Relying on willpower alone to succeed
Start doing this:
Recognise you’re physically a different person - change your mindset too
Focus on daily habits (grains of sand) that build the heap
Embrace vulnerability and trust others
Use self-defeating prophecies to fuel your success
Keep your willpower battery full by managing what drains it
These paradoxes will challenge your thinking.
And that’s exactly the point!
Jay Alderton
Was just talking about paradoxes yesterday...alignment and so much value in these stories and lessons to be learned!